Updated: Nov 27, 2019
The fast two weeks have been incredible emotional for me. Dug up emotions I had buried for many years. My father went to detox and then entered a rehab, last time he was in rehab was 25 years ago at age 17.
The wound of my father was one that I had stitched and closed years ago. I had mentally written him off, came to the conclusion that I would never have a father in my life and that my son would never know his grandfather. The man he once was, was gone, swallowed up by his drug of choice, m.ethamphetamtne. He showed up on my door step at 7am, after sleeping in my shed all night saying he needed help. I'd never imagined that he would actually follow through as we've been here many times. before. I used to wait for the day I'd get a phone call that he had died, the day that. his addiction would grab a final. hold and never let go. This time seems different, we are having conversations we never had. Opening up old wounds and trying to repair them. He told me the day he left for detox that he would call me ev,ery night. even if I didnt want him to. So far he has stayed true to that promise. Every night he has called* for the first time in his life he has shown me
consistency. For the first time it feels like theres a true chance that I may get my father back for the first time it feets like I have a father who no tonger just cares about himself. Each time he cries on the ohone. we shed tears toaether and in that moment stayed true to that promise. Every night he has called for the first time in his life he has shown -me
consistency. For the first time it feels like there's a true chance that I may get my father back. for the first time it feels like I have a father who no longer just cares about himself .. Each time he cries on the phone, we shed tears together and in that moment I am proud. It takes a strong person to be able to pull themselves from the grips of the devil from the depths of hell. To face an of the demons of your past. Every emotion coming to the, surface, every painful memory flooding in, every moment of regret weighing heavy on your shoulders. It's not easy to come out of this especially when its an you've known since a young age, but he is doing it. One day at a time; one meeting at a time. He told me today it is FEAR. Fuck everything and run or face everything and recovery“ Please pray for him.... let this be the moment. that finally saves his life. ltts been almost 10 years without my fa1her in my life and I had fully accepted a lifetime without him. Apparently life that other plans ....
The little girl who needs her daddy to take care - of her doesn't live here anymore but the · woman who could use a father's love remains.